Last entry for an eventful month

10:15pm in Madison, Wisconsin where it was amazingly warm (over 60 degrees) when I arrived shortly after 6:30pm...one weird sight I won't forget soon: in spite of the warm temperatures and clear skies, all the lakes we flew over on the approach to the airport were still frozen!

Getting to the hotel was a trip since I really didn't know where I was going and the directions given over the phone made some sense but I was so tired I forgot the last half of them and so I called again when I made it to the mall that the hotel is named after, figuring it had to be close...and it was, but I was so glad I was able to drive around before it got dark; THAT would have substantially increased the degree of difficulty.

Going to dinner was made charming by two events:  a huge family leaving the restaurant and marveling at the fact that it was still so warm out (I had packed my coat in my suitcase and decided to leave it there for now; it was that warm!)...everybody had taken no chances and brought along their heavy coats, and the infants were decked out in multiple layers, so much so that they didn't move much, or couldn't.

And then my waitress was a charming young lady named Amy who prefaced every question with 'sir' this or 'sir' that, and when I told her she didn't need to be that formal, she explained it as simply a habit, and not really a bad one these days.  Anyhow, we had a natural banter going that was enhanced by a busboy joining in the fun...we fist bumped (all three of us) and it made the dinner a little happier and a little less lonely than it otherwise would have been.

I am SO ready to have my sinuses behave...I've gone through more kleenex than I've ever used on the road before!

Thank goodness for familiar things: music playing in the background, books on this and the iTouch, my little bronze horse from The Black Stallion, a crystal prism from a long-closed store in Savannah when I helped Nathan settle in that freshman year, already 9 years ago...amazing.

Small steps...my personal Kaizen

It was no surprise to me that I fell asleep around midnight and woke up at 4:45am...that was the way it always used to be whenever I'd travel somewhere far enough away that I wouldn't be able to sleep in my bed that night.  Beginning a journey is in many ways a separate and distinctly different experience than planning one; the reality of what you're about to embark on is something that can only truly be felt once that process begins in actuality. 

There are many who feel their life's steps are preordained, predetermined...it's at such moments that I appreciate the true magnitude of faith; to think that anyone/anything can be so omniscient as to know what is to happen to each and every one of us, at each and every moment, is to find sense within the inherent chaos that permeate our existences and provide us not only with an awareness of past/present/future, but also the ability to believe in the possibility of a continued existence beyond our immediate reckoning...not perhaps in life eternal but in life later today, tomorrow, next month.  To me, the true power of faith is believing in that gossamer link each of us have with God and how that thread remains connected no matter what direction we choose, what path we walk, no matter if we choose to affirm or deny that...in the best spirit of a zen koan, it simply is, and nothing said or done can change its essential quality...denying or affirming it is unimportant really; living up to its potential is what we should strive for.

Little things done to advance the day help tremendously, not perhaps in distance spanned with each effort, but when looking back at the collective result.  For me, relief and joy in remembering to cut a long toenail before it reminded me every day that I hadn't clipped it!  Taking my supplements, drinking some coffee, having some oatmeal, packing phone chargers, remembering my checkbook..taking the time (I actually made the time by waking up early) to stop, think, write and truly begin the day by consciously being in it and being actively involved in shaping it as opposed to feeling that I am a passenger only, unable to do anything to affect the day's flow or anything within it...perhaps I ultimately can not, but at least by being aware of what I can do to make the day ahead a time worth being engaged and involved in, I become less a passenger and more of a partner in the process. 

One of my pet peeves is the phrase "no big deal, it doesn't matter"...unless you are engaged or involved in the process of life, how can you tell whether something is or is not a big deal?  Isn't it better to evaluate and determine the worth of a moment before casting it off as unessential?

In any case, spending a half hour with one's thoughts helps ground oneself, especially before any journey, whether involving thousands of miles or a few short steps.

Preparing for a long journey away

In some ways the day before a long trip is more nerve-wracking than actually starting the trip, in terms of packing, trying to mentally prepare for as many contingencies as humanly possible...and here my background with the space program is not as helpful as one might think because preparing for every contingency usually means overthinking and then forgetting something simple and essential...like an emery board...check! paying rent...check!  paying utilities...check!  packing extra toothpaste and underwear...check!

I've been living with this trip to Wisconsin for several weeks so getting it underway finally tomorrow means closure and a restoring of perspective (friends who are musicians are sometimes on the road for months or at least multiple weeks instead of the mere 11 days here, which amuses me but doesn't drive the point home as much as it will when I am safely back) that will help me view things with at least something of the requisite clarity and balance I like to think I have from time to time but haven't felt for a couple of days now.

After all, I remind myself it is a state I haven't been to for forty (!!!) years and I doubt I'll return to again (unless I get assigned to it again...one never knows, like the inventory report I was switched to at the last minute that called for visits to Albany, Redmond, Klamath Falls and White City...and which turned out better than expected)...but any adventure is worth pursuing once the correct attitude is in place.

I think I'd feel less anxious if I wasn't still battling this nagging minor head cold...it's been around since Tuesday/Wednesday, and it's been serious enough to make me feel somewhat punk and unambitious...this morning, I felt bad enough on waking to take a hot shower, and when that didn't help as much as I hoped it might, I took a sudafed clone and when that didn't help, I took a real sudafed...and that finally helped relieve my symptoms enough to make me move around and start doing useful tasks around the house.

It's funny how when one's day isn't progressing smoothly, it seems like all sorts of things proceed to 'gang' up on you...today is the first time I can remember my printer not working as well as it normally does, and a small software app that allows an iPad to charge off a USB port on my home PC quit working after about an hour, and I have no idea why.  We aren't so technologically advanced not to believe in gremlins when such disparate events happen one after another.

A good day...including new music and a new architect

Whenever I can finish one of my assignments and feel good about the end result, it makes all the effort seem worthwhile.  Today was one of those rare days when everything seemed to work the way I intended them to...the writing of the report was smooth, procedural and careful in terms of attention to detail (something I am not always good at) and making sure numbers and facts were consistently presented throughout the report.  I hoped I would be finished by noon, and when I looked up from the keyboard and saw it was 11:45am, I was pleased but not really surprised.

Then after going to Five Guys again (because CK made me hungry talking about where she and her boys went for lunch after visiting the Knoxville Aquarium) and being relieved that this order took far less time to complete than Saturday's did, I came back and found some letters asking for advice that I could relate to better than some of my other recent attempts...it had been awhile since my writing came out effortlessly in a coherent structure and all I had to do was get it all down and see if everything made sense where I had initially placed them.

This clear seeing was with me the entire day.  I read about the just announced winner (Shigeru Ban) of the Pritzker Prize for Architecture and recalled how his cardboard church in New Zealand seemed not only boldly creative in its use of readily available materials, but that the resulting space felt as spirit-filled as you would want a place of worship to feel.  It truly says something about an artistic vision when the result transcends the materials used to create a meaningful space that anyone that can sense and feel intuitively...and in that intuitiveness there is no limit to what can be felt.

Even picking up my daughter at the Amtrak station in the afternoon was a task made memorable by the clearness of everything happening around me: trains pulling in, each heading for different destinations (Portland and Chicago), young children scampering along the tracks followed closely by parents making sure they didn't wander too far away, planes approaching the distant airport flying low enough overhead to see landing gear deploy and flaps lowered.  Everything was normal and unassumingly 'usual'; most of the time we are barely aware of the life occurring around us...today though, I saw it all, almost as if heeding the lesson in Wilder's Our Town where if only for a moment we may be aware of the specialness of each and every moment of life, not just here or there.

This clarity extended itself to the latest music I downloaded today (seasons 1 and 2 of Person of Interest by Rawin Djawadi).  At this point in my life I find myself drawn to music that is simple in structure but still touched by an element of 'space' that allows the listener's imagination to see not only what was intended but also opening up the mind to allow anything and everything to possibly connect with that setting. 

The older I get, the more I find that I relate to music that depicts solitude, awareness...but also loneliness; colored by loss, perhaps regret, certainly acceptance of fate and with it the approach of death...one's own or that of someone else.  For me, to live long enough to grow out of an understandable fear of death and have it replaced with the peace that comes from quietly accepting it as a natural part of life itself is to better understand the benevolence of God in granting us a finite time here before we continue our journey elsewhere.

It is expected to begin raining sometime overnight, and will continue for most of the week.  I'm not sure if Tuesday or Wednesday will have anything close to the same clarity or easy tapping of resources that I experienced today, but realizing that awareness again is to be linked anew with so many special moments in my life, and that connective thread will not be easily lost in the days to come.

Discovering Thin Places

In the course of today's readings, I came across the following writings from the website for the NPR program "On Being" and found them worth rereading and thinking about...and of course I find the reference to Madison, Wisconsin very intriguing indeed as I will be spending the first ten days of next month there for business.

Thin Places and The Transforming Presence of Beauty

Sarah Blanton 

I have spent the last 20 years trying to portray the sense of place I experience at the lake of my childhood. Located in Upper East Tennessee, South Holston Lake is cradled in the Appalachian Mountains.

Being in the presence of a deep, quiet body of water gently surrounded by this wise mountain range pulls me out of the shallow fray of my frantic life to rest in a centered awareness. It is a threshold — a true “thin place.”

The concept of thin places comes from Celtic mythology. Peter Gomes, a Harvard theologian, writes:

“There is in Celtic mythology the notion of 'thin places' in the universe where the visible and the invisible world come into their closest proximity. To seek such places is the vocation of the wise and the good — and for those that find them, the clearest communication between the temporal and eternal. Mountains and rivers are particularly favored as thin places marking invariably as they do, the horizontal and perpendicular frontiers. But perhaps the ultimate of these thin places in the human condition are the experiences people are likely to have as they encounter suffering, joy, and mystery."

South Holston is where I bump up against the truth of my spirituality at its most sincere and humble levels. At this frontier, I see most clearly. Resting by these waters creates an awareness of the moment where I can finally stop the racing thoughts of our world. At this still point of mindfulness, I finally come into remembrance of the transforming presence of beauty.

Spirituality, described as the art of homecoming, is that universal experience of suffering, joy, and mystery. The driving desire behind this ongoing body of work tries to convey feelings of belonging, of homecoming as the soul lies against the threshold of such thin places.

Illustrating the spirit of South Holston through moods of seasons and weather, perspectives and light, I find a growing sense of intimacy and purpose.

My personal journey seemed to mirror my artistic choices, and the images progressively have become more personal. The importance of self-reflection emerges through simple attraction to the reflective properties of the water. Expanding, my attraction moved to objects and structure that underscored this growing introspection.

The role of courage to embrace a sense of separateness surfaces as a strong undercurrent serving to highlight the difficult journey of self-acceptance. Through critical self-reflection, I have become aware of the powerful force of solitude in both my spirituality and my art. Enveloped in that solitude are suffering, joy, and mystery that carry me to that thin place.

 

An Encouragement For Spring And The Writing Life 

Parker J. Palmer
 

For me, writing is a miraculous process. It's as miraculous as Spring itself, when buds arise from frozen ground and greenery leafs out from wood that's hard and unyielding.

For 50 years I've been writing almost daily. I'm driven not by expertise but by my own bafflement about many things — some of them "in here" and some of them "out there." Every time I write, I'm surprised by what I discover about myself and/or the world.

So I no longer wait until I have a clear idea to start putting words on the page. If I did, I'd never write a word! I simply start writing, trusting that the writing itself will help me dig into my bafflement, uncover what I already know, and point me toward what I need to learn next.

And if tomorrow I find out that I got it wrong, I know that none of my words will go to waste. Instead, they become compost for the next round of new growth.

Here's a poem that reflects my experience of the writing life. I offer it partly as an encouragement to those who write for any reason, personal or professional. Trust the process!

I offer it also as an encouragement for Spring to arrive ASAP! As they say, we are so, like,done with winter in Madison, Wisconsin! Totally...

The World Once Green Again

That tree from its dense wooden trunk
surprises into leaf
as my tight-fibered heart leafs out
in unexpected speech.

I know that trunk, so thick, so slow,
its heartwood core so like my own.
Yet here I celebrate that we
can take leave of our density
to dance the wind and sing the sun.

Our words, like leaves, in season spring
and then in season fall,
but at their rise they prove a power
that gentle conquers all.

As shriveled leaves return to earth
to nourish roots of leaves unstrung,
so dry words fall back to the heart
to decompose into their parts
and feed the roots of worlds unsung.

And when speech fails, the dark trunk stands
'til most surprising spring
wells up the voice that ever speaks
the world once green again.

Money well spent...now and for the future

The following was taken from today's Spaceflight Now:

Mission managers are finishing proposals to be submitted to NASA in April for consideration in a senior review, a process every two years in which an independent panel of respected scientists rank the value of continuing funding for each project.

The senior review board's recommendations will be announced in June, according to NASA. All of NASA's science divisions use a similar review to decide which missions most deserve continued funding.

Scarce funding, always a concern for NASA, is aggravated in this year's senior review cycle by the inclusion of the Curiosity Mars rover, which will complete its primary two-year mission this summer and must ask for approval for extended operations.

Seven missions are on the planetary science division's senior review docket this year:

• The Curiosity rover, initially approved for a prime mission lasting one Martian year, is participating in the senior review for the first time this year after arriving on Mars in August 2012. Curiosity is driving toward Mount Sharp, a three-mile-high peak believed to harbor layered clay minerals containing clues about the red planet's ancient past.
  
• The Cassini mission is proposing an extension until late 2017, when the spacecraft will fly inside of Saturn's outermost rings before plunging into the gas giant's atmosphere. Cassini's mission has been extended twice since entering orbit in July 2004. Unlike other projects in the senior review, which are on the hook for two-year extensions, Cassini is seeking a three-year commitment from NASA to operate the spacecraft until the planned conclusion of its mission, supporting flybys of Saturn's moons Titan, Enceladus, Dione and Tethys.
  
• NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter, flying in orbit several hundred miles above the red planet, is seeking money for a fourth extended mission phase since it arrived at Mars in March 2006. MRO hosts a sharp-eyed high-resolution camera, a mineral mapping spectrometer and ground-penetrating radar. The orbiter also serves as a communications relay platform for the Curiosity and Opportunity rovers on the Martian surface.
  
• After a remarkable 24-mile journey across Mars, the Opportunity rover is exploring the rim of Endeavour crater, where scientists say they have found evidence of an ancient environmental that was capable of supporting microbial life. Opportunity landed in January 2004 at the start of a planned three-month mission, but the rover is still going and producing science results.
  
• Mars Odyssey is the longest-serving mission to ever visit Mars. The spacecraft entered orbit in late 2001 and still has fuel for nine or 10 years of operations, according to NASA. Odyssey is the primary communications link with NASA's rovers on Mars, and the probe is currently adjusting its orbit to fly over Mars during morning daylight, which scientists say could yield insight into ground composition, warm-season water flows found on steep slopes, and geysers spawned by dry ice during the spring thaw at the Martian poles.
  
• NASA is a junior partner on the European-led Mars Express mission, which has orbited Mars since December 2003. NASA supported development of the Mars Express subsurface radar and an instrument to monitor the interaction between the solar wind and Martian atmosphere to study what happened to the water that was once plentiful on Mars. NASA's limited involvement in Mars Express makes it the least costly mission in the agency's catalog of extended missions.
  
• The Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter is up for a two-year extension. LRO would be NASA's only spacecraft exploring the moon over the next two years, with instruments to gather high-resolution images, search for ice deposits, map the moon's jagged terrain, and measure radiation in the lunar environment.

NASA's other planetary missions, such as New Horizons, Juno and Dawn, are still in their primary mission phases. And the MESSENGER spacecraft at Mercury was already granted an extension to March 2015, when engineers expect it to run out of propellant and impact Mercury.

As a longtime space follower, the first five are of highest significance (particularly Cassini and Opportunity since those (along with Odyssey) are multi-decade missions and the chances for those occurring again are slight with the possible exception of Curiosity), with LRO and Mars Express important but not as essential. 

Of course, when one considers the cost of boondoggle projects like the advanced technical fighter (my contention is that keeping a proven design like the F-15 and improving ordinance/technology is a heckuva cheaper way to go, and the aircraft get built, flown, and maintained operational), it's amazing that anything close to real, meaningful science ever gets accomplished at the governmental level.

Welcome back, Nate

After a busy day, I'm spending the night in Albany, Oregon getting ready to drive over Santiam Pass tomorrow afternoon, returning to Redmond in order to count inventory on Wednesday morning at a location just down the street from where my hotel will be tomorrow evening, I was delighted to learn in my perusal of my usual RSS connections the following snippet:

We hope you’ll gain insight and pleasure from our approach to the news and that you’ll visit us from time to time. We hope to demonstrate the value of data journalism as a practical and sustainable proposition.
 
It’s time for us to start making the news a little nerdier.

It's quite appropriate to have March Madness kick off with the dean of prognosticators once again amongst us: Nate Silver and his colleagues at the newly reintroduced FiveThirtyEight.com.  I've missed his rare combination of attention to detail and witticisms reminiscent of Pogo, The Daily Show, and Colbert Report, only subtler.

It's unfortunate that his honest, objective analysis will be displayed again this election season, this time though chronicling the probable losses of the Democratic Party in November in the same way that the GOP found it self being analyzed two years ago.  If there is any moral to this clarity, it's that objective review without having subjective crap heaped on top of it is the best way to learn and to move on, and in no other field is this kind of clearsighted vision more necessary (and less likely to be found) than in politics.

I was tempted to choose my selections for the field of 67 exclusively based on his site's recommendations...but will probably opt not to just because having reached the lofty position of 170th several years ago in the New York Times and not breaking the top 8,000 since, I find kibitzing and trash talking from the sidelines to be just as satisfying, if not more so because my limitations are not so apparent when they aren't finalized in an entry somewhere.