It was no surprise to me that I fell asleep around midnight and woke up at 4:45am...that was the way it always used to be whenever I'd travel somewhere far enough away that I wouldn't be able to sleep in my bed that night. Beginning a journey is in many ways a separate and distinctly different experience than planning one; the reality of what you're about to embark on is something that can only truly be felt once that process begins in actuality.
There are many who feel their life's steps are preordained, predetermined...it's at such moments that I appreciate the true magnitude of faith; to think that anyone/anything can be so omniscient as to know what is to happen to each and every one of us, at each and every moment, is to find sense within the inherent chaos that permeate our existences and provide us not only with an awareness of past/present/future, but also the ability to believe in the possibility of a continued existence beyond our immediate reckoning...not perhaps in life eternal but in life later today, tomorrow, next month. To me, the true power of faith is believing in that gossamer link each of us have with God and how that thread remains connected no matter what direction we choose, what path we walk, no matter if we choose to affirm or deny that...in the best spirit of a zen koan, it simply is, and nothing said or done can change its essential quality...denying or affirming it is unimportant really; living up to its potential is what we should strive for.
Little things done to advance the day help tremendously, not perhaps in distance spanned with each effort, but when looking back at the collective result. For me, relief and joy in remembering to cut a long toenail before it reminded me every day that I hadn't clipped it! Taking my supplements, drinking some coffee, having some oatmeal, packing phone chargers, remembering my checkbook..taking the time (I actually made the time by waking up early) to stop, think, write and truly begin the day by consciously being in it and being actively involved in shaping it as opposed to feeling that I am a passenger only, unable to do anything to affect the day's flow or anything within it...perhaps I ultimately can not, but at least by being aware of what I can do to make the day ahead a time worth being engaged and involved in, I become less a passenger and more of a partner in the process.
One of my pet peeves is the phrase "no big deal, it doesn't matter"...unless you are engaged or involved in the process of life, how can you tell whether something is or is not a big deal? Isn't it better to evaluate and determine the worth of a moment before casting it off as unessential?
In any case, spending a half hour with one's thoughts helps ground oneself, especially before any journey, whether involving thousands of miles or a few short steps.
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